April 2025:
The Whole Language: The Power of Extravagant Tenderness
by Fr. Gregory Boyle
“The father in the gospel (parable of the prodigal son) runs to his son while he is ‘still a long way off.’ Find me anywhere in that story, where the father forgives the son. He doesn’t settle for forgiveness he rushes to mercy. He just says, “You’re here!”
The father has a mystical view — he sees the trauma, the wound, the pain, the PCP addiction, the mental illness in his kid, and he saw all the things that led up to his son taking of in the first place.
The father’s hope (and our invitation at Homeboy) is that this son will touch the center of his pain, go through it, not avoid it, and come out the other side.”
The book that we chose for the month of April is, "That Whole Language -- The Power of Extravagant Tenderness" by Gregory Boyle. TWL is the third of his three Power books. ‘Tattoos On The Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion’, ‘Barking at the Choir: The Power of Radical Kinship’, and now TWL. I love Gregory Boyle's books and all the wisdom he shares through them.
G's book titles always seems to come from something that one of the homeboys say and this book is no different. G shares a story about a kid named Peter who was from Uzbekistan. Peter come to this country with his mother when he was seven years old and when he is in his teenage years got involved with a Latino gang. Peter had done ten years on prison and was now facing deportation and G testified on his behalf in his hearing.
Later on, G asked about another homie named Mario about Peter. Mario replied, "That's my dog right here, yeah -- we call him Russian Boy. ... Watcha, we were locked up together in County. Cellies. And he'd go out every night and talk to his mom on the pay phone. He talked ... Russian ... with her. Damn, G he spoke the WHOLE language!" Hence the title of this book.
G then says Mario meant fluency when he said the "whole language" and suggests we do the same. Be, "on the lookout for a fuller expression and a wider frame within which to view things. Allow the extravagant tenderness of God to wash over us. Permit the lavishing of such love to surround and fill us, then go into the world and speak the 'whole language.' This is the fluency of THE MYSTIC, who chooses to live in the soul, inhabiting the tender fragrance of love."
G says this mystical kinship, this speaking the whole language, is the exact opposite of the age in which we live: tribal, divisive, suspicious, anchored in the illusion of separation -- unhealthy, sad, fearful, other-izing and demonizing. Mystics replace fear with love, vindictiveness with openhearted kindness, envy with supportive affection, withering judgement with extravagant tenderness.
I really feel that. I look back upon my spiritual journey to become the kind of mystic that G describes. In the beginning all I knew was that we're all going through what we're going through to get to where we're going. And somewhere along the way I realized that I needed to do the work within myself to arrive at this destination in full effect. To become the mystic that G describes, we must transform ourselves through healing. The result was that as I worked through my trauma I started to become better than I used to be. Kinder, more compassionate, more patient, and loving. That is the reason we have been born into this universe, to find our true selves and become the mystic who see everyone else in the world the eyes of Christ.
I love the way G sees into the heart of the parable about the prodigal son. How the father saw his son far off and ran to him. He doesn't wait until the son comes up to the house asking to see his him. He doesn't lecture his boy, judging him, pointing out all the sin he's committed humiliating him, then forgiving him. No! He skips all that holier than thou stuff and skips to mercy.
The father saw him, felt compassion for his son and ran out into the road and he embraced him and kissed him.
The son who was still consumed with humiliation and guilt, tried to explain that he was no longer worthy to be call his father's son and never would be again after what he'd done.
But the father didn't even consider it, he turned to his servants saying quick! Bring the new Versace robe and put it on him. And the big diamond ring for his hand along with the Gucci sandals for his feet! And BBQ the fatted calf, and let us eat and celebrate! For this son of mine was dead but has come back to life, he was lost and ha been found!
This parable and G's interpretation of it means so much to me because I've been the prodigal son. And when I called my earthly father from the county jail ashamed and embarrassed about the mess I'd gotten myself into my Dad never hung up on me. He never lectured me or judged me. He just said I'm coming to get you -- hold on!
He skipped judgement and forgiveness and ran straight to mercy because I was his baby boy who he loved unconditionally and there was nothing I could do that would ever change that. If my dad loved me this much, how much more does our heavenly father love us? It's breathtaking to me.
As you know, I was part of the first faith based program class that was offered on Texas DR. There is not much difference between the homies that father Gregory Boyle works with at Homeboy Industries and the men I live with. We're broken, rejected, marginalized, and despised just like the homies are. The faith based program experience was my Homeboy industries. It was the safe place where I could begin the work within myself to become the best version of myself. It was the sacred place were we shared our stories with each other, cried and laughed together, and learned to see each other through the eyes of Christ. And this is where I learned to speak the whole language. This is proof that healing is possible, even on Texas DR.
This place is full of people who are severely traumatized and because they were unable to transform their pain they transferred it to other in the worst way on the worst day of their lives. The result was being sent to DR. A lot of times when guys hit rock bottom here, they burn all their bridges with everyone around them. They no longer care about anything. This makes it very difficult to like them. Difficult to make time for someone who has put themselves in that situation. Learning the whole language helps me remember that their mom loved them, their kids loved them and God loves them still.
G shares a story about anthropologist Margaret Mead. She observed throughout her travels through Africa, how tribes perceived crime to be a sign of distress from the "criminal." Sometimes they'd spend two days encircling the perpetrator and only speak of his goodness. Consequently, the community around the person sought to direct healing and to alleviate this pain. Similarly, the Navajo thought that the criminal was one who acted as if he had no family. A severed belonging. Without a sense of "sin" these tribes were able to see pain and wound and thought punishment didn't make any sense.
When we observe the behavior of another and can see the pain and the wound we understand why these bridges are being burned and what's going on with this person. And are better able to respond to the situation. If only all of society could do this.
G shares from the gospel the story of the Garasene demonic, (Luke chapter 8) and he's completely alienated. He's the object of fear and a legion of devils possess him. After Jesus heals him, he sits at the feet of Jesus. He's become a disciple. From nakedness to clothed, he's become a witness now. Restored to a living purpose.
That is what speaking the whole language is all about. becoming a mystic and being restored to your true purpose. And this is why TWL is such a great book and worthy of being read by our Bookclub!